By Dr. Logan Chopyk
If you spend enough time in any faculty breakroom, you will inevitably hear a familiar chorus of complaints. “Why can’t they be more mature?” “Why don’t they just get this?” “They should be further along by now.” As educators, we all need a safe space to decompress and vent, and the day-to-day challenges of teaching are incredibly legitimate. However, when I hear these specific frustrations, it often signals to me a fundamental weakness in a teacher’s approach.
Throughout my career, I’ve found that the exact same qualities that make me a highly effective teacher for students with moderate-to-severe autism are what make me a great teacher for neurotypical students. Conversely, the flaws that make a teacher merely mediocre with typical students would result in an enormous, spectacular failure when teaching autistic students.
The secret lies in radical acceptance.
The Myth of “Should Be”
A teacher must accept a student exactly where they are. Any complaint that a student “isn’t somewhere else” intellectually or emotionally is ultimately a rejection of that student’s present state.
The reality is simple: one cannot be where they are not. You can only help a student progress step-by-step within their Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD)—the sweet spot between what a learner can do independently and what they can do with guidance.
Imagine, for a moment, a teacher complaining that a moderately to severely autistic student isn’t acting like a typical student. We would immediately recognize that as unfair and counterproductive. They are differently abled, and as an educator, you simply must accept their current baseline, honor their limitations, and try to move them forward one step at a time with compassion, empathy, and musicality.
But here is the truth we often forget: neurotypical students are also differently abled. They come to our classrooms with wildly varying strengths, glaring weaknesses, unique cultural backgrounds, and hidden emotional baggage. Why do we so easily withhold that same grace and individualized acceptance from them?
Refusals, Meltdowns, and the Art of “Buy-In”
Another stark parallel between these two populations is how they handle resistance. Meltdowns and outright refusals happen in both autistic and neurotypical students, though they may look different on the surface.
Because neurotypical students are generally more conditioned to be compliant, teachers often take their cooperation for granted. With my autistic students, I know that I must frequently follow their lead. Some days, the goal of an entire session isn’t mastering a new skill; the goal is simply getting their “buy-in” for an activity I was hoping to do with them.
When a neurotypical student refuses an activity, pushes back, or mentally checks out, teachers who aren’t expecting resistance often fail to honor the emotional state of the student. Instead of pivoting, they push ahead. This inevitably creates opposition between the teacher and the student. When that happens, the student isn’t having fun, the teacher isn’t helping the student, motivation plummets, and a rift in the relationship begins to grow.
A Universal Toolkit for Teaching
The strategies I rely on in a session with an autistic student are the exact same strategies that should be utilized in a neurotypical classroom to build connection and maintain momentum. When resistance arises, we must lean into our toolkit:
- Using Humor: De-escalating tension with a well-timed joke or a lighthearted observation.
- Changing the Topic: Giving the brain a brief reset before returning to the challenging task.
- Allowing Agency: Giving the student a genuine voice in how the activity is completed.
- The “Trojan Horse” Lesson: Subtly incorporating the academic material into something the student already loves.
- Gamification: Turning the lesson into a game the student actually wants to play.
- Positive Reinforcement: Offering meaningful rewards for cooperative behavior and effort.
At the end of the day, everyone—regardless of their neurotype—has feelings, emotions, and needs. We should never be in the business of ramming curriculum down anyone’s throat. When we teach with the patience, flexibility, and profound empathy required for our most vulnerable learners, we become better educators for everyone.